I had spent so much time thinking about when I would go into labor
and the actual labor itself, that I didn't think a lot about the days
following the twins' birth. I figured the nurses would guide me on what
to do and my motherly instinct would kick in. It was a rough couple of
days but important to share so that others can get a glimpse into my
first few days as a Mom.
My recovery went very well
considering what some women go through. I needed help to do just about
everything but was able to get around and be involved in taking care of
the babies. The most awkward was when they had me get into a bath tub
that night and I almost couldn't get myself out. I am a tall person
anyway and between my super swollen legs, being incredibly weak and not
have to get up off the floor in 5 months, it wasn't pretty. Comical now
but at the time, I was about ready to just spend the night in there.
The
first night after they were both is a total blur and I couldn't tell
you what even happened that night. Tuesday was filled with visitors,
attempts to nurse (notice I said "attempts") and lots of baby cuddles.
By Tuesday night Ben and I were fried. It was midnight and the babies
had just fallen asleep, so we turned off the lights to finally get some
rest. Then a few nurses came into our room, woke up the babies, weighted
them, talked to them and talked to us. I know they were just doing
their jobs but this was the beginning of a very difficult 24 hours. By
the time the babies calmed down and we had relaxed, it was time for
another feeding. I basically slept 2-3 hours spread out over that whole
night. I had the typical anxiety about the babies staying alive all
night. Every little sound they made woke me up and I would study their
lips for coloring and try to see their little chests move up and down.
Finally, I just had to repeat this prayer over and over and over again
to get any sleep. Lord, please keep my babies safe while I sleep. I
still pray this every night because I still think I am dreaming. I don't
know how people are parents without God in their lives, it must be very
over whleming.
The next morning we met with the
Lactation Consultant. Turns out that my 45 minute "nursing sessions"
were actually not giving my babies anything. I was basically exhausting
them and then when I would give them al bottle, they would only drink a
little. In my mind, that meant that they were getting enough from me but
they were actually so tired that they couldn't even drink from the
bottle. Bless the consultants heart because she had to be really honest
with me about what I was doing wrong, realistic expectations and what
breastfeeding twins really would take. She is a mom of twins, born at 31
weeks, so I trusted what she had to say but it doesn't mean it was easy
to hear. Between this and the sleep deprivation, I was a total mess. I
wanted to go home SO bad on Wednesday and they said I wasn't in a state
of mind to understand my discharge papers, so the main focus was getting
me some sleep. The consultant wanted me to take a 5 hour nap before
going home which I thought was a little ridiculous. They settled for a 1
hour nap (that felt like 5 hours) and a serious change in my outlook on
feeding. They brought in a breast pump and I actually got something to
feed my babies. It made a huge difference because I had felt like I
didn't do that very well in the past 24 hours. I pulled myself together
and they let us go home. My list of what I needed to do to get my milk
to come in was pretty daunting, including pumping every 2 hours,
attempting nursing with each baby, feeding them what I pump and
supplementing formula for a feeding every 1-3 hours. I am not someone
who is against formula because I know it will take time for my body to
produce enough for two babies but it was tough for me to see uh...my
"equipment" not working like I thought it would. Trying to be subtle
here :) My milk did finally come in on day 5 which they expected with
all the swelling I had. We celebrated that day, big time! The work is
not over here but that is for another post.
I do
have to tell you about our first 20 minutes home with the babies, mostly
because I think it is hilarious. My mom wanted to give us some privacy
as we brought the babies home. Ben and I cried the whole way home, it
felt real now. My Aunt Sarah read me this beautiful poem about leaving
the hospital. It talked about how you just take these little, fragile
babies and you walk right out the door with them. No one checking to
make sure you are ready or if you have a parenting license. It was the
moment when we knew they were ours to keep. We were excited to introduce
them to our Fur Baby Drewby. We walked into the house and Drew
literally sniffed both car seats and that was it. He could care less
which is a good thing I guess. We have come home smelling like that
hospital a dozen times so maybe he was familiar with it.
I
was a nervous mom to get them out of the car seats because they didn't
look comfortable at all. Within a few minutes, both babies were crying. I
grabbed one to try to nurse but I had to go to the bathroom so bad. I
couldn't find my squirt bottle since it was packed in one of the bags.
For those of you who don't know, your squirt bottle is your best friend
after a vaginal birth and you NEED it to use the bathroom. I settled for
a water bottle and left Ben with two crying babies in the living room.
After taking care of business, I grabbed what I assumed was the most
hungry baby to try and nurse. I couldn't get the "goods" out of the
dress I wore home from the hospital and I was getting really flustered.
Finally, Ben just told me to take off my dress, so I threw most of my
clothes on the floor. I am attempting to nurse one baby while Ben is
trying to change the diaper of the other. He is at the changing table in
the living room as I walk him through where the wipes and diapers are.
Keep in mind that we stocked this thing 7 weeks ago, so my memory is
foggy and I am on 2 hours of sleep. I am telling Ben to just "pull out a
wipe from that container" over and over again, only to find out that
the pack of wipes was unopened inside of it. Poor guy...but we survived.
It was a memorable first moments home. After we took a few breathes and
started laughing at the chaos, I sent my mom this text, "We are home.
The first 20 minutes were chaos. You can come back any time." :)
If
felt so good to be home and put babies in swings, bassinets and a
cradle that had been empty for far too long. Overall, they have been
little angels. Now that we have our feeding under control (still
nursing, pumping and supplementing) the babies sleep 3 hours between
feedings and only cry when they need food or a diaper change. We are
very blessed.
I will write more as I can...
No comments:
Post a Comment