Grace, memories and 4 weeks old

I can't believe it has been 4 weeks since they were born. Sometimes it feels like months and other times it feels like yesterday. I can say that we are finally getting into a routine and yesterday was the first night that it felt normal instead of pure chaos. We even did baths for both babies and were in bed by 8:45.

There are some memories that I wanted to get recorded somewhere before I forget so here are just some quick memories...

-Ben sitting on the couch, holding a baby and he turns to me and says, " I am just melting"
-Carter's little sigh after he sneezes
-The night that both babies cried for 2 hours until we figured out what they needed. Carter squeezed my finger and gave me a little smile...his way of saying, "It's ok Mom, we are ok and we know you are doing your best"
-Ben and I in the store, Ben turns to me and says, "I just love them so much"
-Sound of my Mom reading books to the babies in their nursery
-My first time tandem nursing BOTH babies!
-Elianna always having her hand touching her face when she sleeps
-Remembering when I saw and felt pure Grace and Forgiveness between Ben and myself, evidence of God presence in our parenting and our marriage.
-Seeing Ben's Dad hold all 3 grandkids in his arms on his first Father's Day as a Grandpa

This crazy roller coaster we are living hasn't gotten any less exciting. I would say that within a few days, I have felt like a total failure and a great Mom within such a short time period. I am so thankful for God's Grace because I need it every moment. I am not sure how to express what I am feeling without having it taken the wrong way. I will just say that all the times God was teaching me about needing to be in control, being patient with myself and others, accepting grace, not holding onto shame or guilt....all of these things have made me a better parent. They have been vital for me to be a Mom of twins without losing my mind or creating distance between myself and Ben. It is SO easy to be mean to your spouse at 3am when you have been pooped on, feel exhausted and cannot get your baby to sleep. One of the best lines I learned from Lysa Terkeurst..."Share whispers with God before shouts with the world" Give God the opportunity to intervene before you speak. When I want to snap at Ben, I wait a few seconds and give the holy spirit the time to change my heart before I speak. It has made a HUGE difference for us. I need Ben...my partner in this. When you have twins, there is no "it's your turn" because there are two babies and it is always both of our turns.

Our next adventure is traveling to see my parents and grandparents this weekend. I am so excited for the babies to meet their Great Grandma Jo, Great Grandpa Ed and Great Grandma June. I will share more about our trip when we get back. Here are a few pictures for our photo shoot we did when the babies were 5 days old :o)

 GO TWINS! 

 Miss Elianna 

 Carter and his lip

 Carter wearing a cute hat!

 This one makes me think of them in the womb!

 Love this one!