Statistics are comforting until they don't go in your favor or when they don't apply at all. At first it can look optimistic but what I hate is that if you don't fit into with what the numbers predict...then what? Is all hope lost?
There have been times when I hated the numbers...I hated the hope I put in them and the hopelessness they made me feel. I spent a lot of time praying in the car and I know that I got a clear message from God. I have had trouble explaining how a person can "hear" from God but there were many factors that made me sure this time. I found myself going over and over the numbers in my head feeling defeated and doubting God's faithfulness. At that moment, I heard in my head, "I will beat the odds." Those words could NOT have possibly been mine because I was out of optimism at that point.
This has been my motto from even before we were blessed with good news in September. I have to remind myself that God is not limited by science, biology or anything else.
All these numbers...really mean nothing. God doesn't work with statistics. I had to remind myself of that daily during our journey to get pregnant and it was all practice for when we found out we were having twins and the statistics were now scary.
Any and everything that could go wrong while pregnant has a higher chance with multiples. The first book I read about carrying twins was basically a long list of all the possible complications we could encounter during the next 9 months and beyond. By the point in the book where they actually tell you how much it costs per day/per baby to be in the NICU, I was in tears. We had been through so much to get to think point that another 9 months of holding my breathe seemed exhausting. I believed that God gave us these babies but I honestly didn't know how it would end. Every day I had to say that "He will beat the odds."
I purposely didn't ask our doctor about our chances of the Sub-chorionic hemorrhage ending in miscarriage or the risks associated with the placenta placement of baby girl, or my chances of pre-term labor with these complications. I don't need to know the statistics because they don't apply to us.
Here we are...22 weeks today. Our past complications have resolved themselves and we have two beautiful babies growing bigger every day. We will likely have more challenges ahead but I believe that we will beat the odds.
If you are looking at a situation in your life and you think the numbers are no longer in your favor...remember that God doesn't report his numbers each year and miracles are cannot be measured.
22 weeks Baby Bump
Moments to remember:
-Feeling the first real kick from each baby ~ I could sit for hours and feel them move. They assure me everyday that they are still ok.
-Ben talking to my tummy each night reminding the babies to stay in there and keep growing
-Having my mom touch my big belly
-Seeing an ultrasound with no hemorrhage
-Other women contacting me that are struggling to get pregnant after posting on FB...praying for them always
-Hearing my OB's nurse tell me that I have such a happy disposition when I tell her about my difficult pregnancy symptoms. It is a state of mind to be grateful for each symptom good or bad.
-Cambria (my 4 year old niece) informing me of who would be playing with each baby when they arrived. She has it all worked out...Autumn and baby girl would be friends. Cam and Norah would play with baby boy.
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