For my mother...as a mother

The other night, I was standing at the sink washing bottles for the 3rd time that day. My mind starting wondering as I did this easy task and I started thinking about my Mom standing at a sink, 30 years ago, washing bottles. I was overcome with emotion because it hit me like a ton of bricks, the type of love my mom has for me. If you know my Mom, even just a little bit, you know the type of amazing woman she is. She is my best friend and I think we get closer the older I get. My mom has known great joy and great pain through the lives of her children. My mom has received dozens of phone calls that usually just start with me crying because the sound of her voice opens the flood gates. She has listened to me talk about our struggle to start a family, month after month of disappointment, my heartbreaking reaction to another pregnancy announcement and my raw questions for God about our situation. I now think of how hard those conversation must have been, when she knows the joy a child can bring. I am sure the thought of her daughter never knowing this kind of love was difficult to imagine. But not for a minute did my Mother let me give up hope or lose faith. Even on my darkest days, I knew I couldn't lose Faith because she hadn't.

I don't think it got easier when we actually got pregnant because we had a long way to go. We had found ourselves in a 9 month waiting game full of ER visits, false alarms, statistics and fear. When we went to the hospital for contractions at 25 weeks, the doctor had told us that they were going to do a test that could tell us that our babies might be born in the next 2 weeks. My first phone call was to my Mom and she could barely understand my words through my sobbing but she has had some practice over the years. She calmed me down, in only the way she can and we all know that our babies did not arrive that day. This was not the last false alarm and some time towards the end, my Mom had her bag packed and in the car for the last 6 weeks of our pregnancy.

Since we were induced, my parents did not miss anything and my Mom was there from the beginning. She brought some pictures of her, right after I was born and it was a special moment. Even after the nurse said it was time to get ready to push, I was still very calm and almost in disbelief that we were going to have the babies. When my Mom grabbed our hands and started to pray, it finally became real. We had gone back and forth about having my mom in the delivery room but I am so glad she was there. Looking at her holding Carter was my motivation to safely deliver Elianna. There is a picture of the moment Carter was born and in the background is my Mom with so much emotion on her face, I could never describe it to you. I imagine at that moment that all the tear-filled phone calls, the desperate prayers, the doubts and the fears...all lifted away as she watched me become a Mother.

I wrote this post months ago but it is now time to share it with others. It helps to take a moment to look at and look at how God perfectly delivered a miracle...or 2 in our case. :) Sending special love to  Grammy, my best friend and Mom.