I exclusively pumped breast milk for the twins for about 8 months. For 8 months, I hooked myself up to a machine...every 4 hours....for 8 months. I pumped at family functions, airport terminals, in the car, during conference calls and in the middle of the night. It is a LABOR OF LOVE and anyone who EPs is my hero. Nursing just didn't work out for us and this was the best that I could do. This journey was not easy and there were many, many days that I wanted to quit. This option gave my kids the best option for breast milk and I am thankful that it exists but every minute that I was pumping was another moment that I couldn't hold a baby, change a diaper or do something for them. One time my Aunt Sarah said, "What you are doing is a sacrifice for your kids" and I almost started crying right there because not everyone sees it that way but it really is. For most outsiders it looks like an inconvenience, an obligation or unnecessary, a reason you have to cut your outing short, an annoyance to your employer, or something that is limiting you. It is a sacrifice and it is hard. I had people in my life that helped support me and are the only reason I made it this long. Here are a few people I need to thank....
My mother...
My Mom was there for the birth of the twins and every moment after it for about a week. When people said, "You will just want your mom there" I didn't realize how incredibly true that would be. A part of it is that she has been through it all before and I just believe her more when she encourages me. My Mom was there to get various pumping supplies, washing a million bottles, trying to get the hospital grade pump to work and we can't forget the literal and figurative "melt down" where we lost a few pumping parts to the microwave sterilization bag. She was also there to (nicely) force me to pump when I didn't want to. It took 5 whole days for my milk to come in. I was pumping every few hours and NOTHING would come out but I had to keep doing it. Anyone who helped us had to do extra work while I had to sit there an pump. I will also value our conversations in the wee morning hours when I would pump and she would feed the babies. Or that one time over Christmas break when both the kids were teething and crying hysterically. I had tried to pump a good 3 times while trying to comfort them both. When I finally was able to get both kids content, I was emotionally spent but I had to still pump. I sat in the living room, while my family played a card game in the kitchen and basically cried while I pumped. At a moment when you think you have nothing left to give...you find it within you to pump that precious liquid gold for your precious babies. My Mom came into the room and sat on the couch and didn't say a word. Moms know when you just need to have someone sit with you. Maybe she doesn't even think it was a big deal but it was to me.
My Friend Jess Grewe...
Most of you know of Jess as "My friend with 2 sets of twins" but this woman is incredible. Not only did she send me a full maternity wardrobe, twin nursing pillow, baby clothes, bottles and more....she exclusively pumped for both her sets of twins and went 13.5 months for her 2nd set of twins. She was my main supporter to exclusively pump. She added me to the most amazing support group of women on facebook that were my lifeline. She encouraged me on the days that I really wanted to quit and offered the best advice. "Never quit on a bad day" She gave me the tough love when I needed it and the loving support when I was ready to be done. I wouldn't have made it past the first few weeks without her help.
My Amazing Husband...
For 8 months...there were 3 of us in our marriage. Ben, myself and my pump. We scheduled life around my pumping schedule and couldn't go anywhere without having access every 4 hours. Many nights Ben would wake up to the faint sound of the pump going. One of ways he would help is hauling my pump from the bedroom to the living every day, washing all the supplies and putting my late night pumped milk in the fridge. For every minute I was hooked up to the machine was another minute that Ben was on his own to care for the kids. Many early mornings where he would have to go get the kids while I finished my morning pump which usually took over an hour. During all this time, he never once asked me to stop pumping. He would ask "how long do you think you will pump?" and I usually didn't have a solid answer for him. His patience was amazing and I can't thank him enough for picking up the slack while I gave our babies their best start at life.
As the kids became more mobile...it got a lot tougher and I just felt like it was time to stop. I was also one of the "not-so-lucky" women who didn't lose ANY weight while breastfeeding/pumping. Not a single pound. My body was holding onto everything as I tried to produce food for 2 babies. Any decrease in calories would hurt my supply that was already not enough for both the kids. There were many many factors that led to my decision to stop at 8 months. I am happy that I could provide at least some milk to them and now I am thankful for extra hours in the day to hold them. I do have a small freezer stash that will give them each a bottle of day of breast milk for a few months.
We were lucky enough to asked to speak at an "Expecting Multiples" class by Amma this past week and it felt good to talk about the option to pump. I don't think many moms know about it and it usually isn't plan A but for a lot of women, it is a good plan B.
Now that I am done pumping and my body is starting to get back to normal. It is time to start chipping away at the weight gain. Ironically, I weigh the exact same as I did when I started my weight loss journey back in December of 2009. I gained a total of 100 pounds during my pregnancy and I dropped 50 pounds within the first few weeks of their birth. Since then, nothing. I am not going to lie...the task of losing 80 pounds...again...it a bit overwhelming. My body is different and I don't think the same approach is going to work. I plan to blog about "Round 2" of weight loss but that is for another day.
To my fellow pumpers...
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